09.16.08 00:20 Ayudame

Hi friends. I sure could use some help/advice/suggestions.

I'm in a bind here. I should have posted this earlier, but I've been racking my brain, trying to find alternate solutions.

My dilemma is this: I am being forced to relinquish ownership of my cat Azrael and her brother Jasper.

I need to find them a good home. Within two weeks. I'm trying to avoid shelters, since many of them euthanize un-adopted pets.

I hoped to put them in long-term boarding, but after quick calculation I realized the costs per month would actually be more than I pay for my own rent.

Part of the predicament is that the cats came from the same litter. They've been together their entire lives, and I prefer that they stay together.

They're affectionate cats. Spayed, neutered. Completely indoor.

Ideally, I'd love to find a "foster" owner - someone that could care for them for the next twelve months. After which, I hope to be in a situation in which I could resume ownership.

Ideally.

Of course, ideally, I never would have been placed in this quagmire.

Any and all counsel would be very much appreciated.

09.04.08 19:24 MISSING PERSONS

I'm not really sure how to go about this. Originally, I was going to post because Movado's car was stolen, and I was going to ask for everyone to keep an eye out. Luckily, it's been found. But now...

My friend Jessica Nguyen (nee Sanez), her husband Johnny, and their two kids Joshua and Jacob have been missing for twelve days.

Spread the word. Any information would be much appreciated.

YouTube message from Johnny's aunt

CBS 2 News report

22:14
UPDATE: They're home, safe and sound. I'll leave it at that.

07.09.08 20:37 Me Love YouTube
I don't know if y'all still read this, but if you do... here's your reward.

So... I was sitting at work today, wondering if it was on the Internets yet. And it is.

Now, I'm not a fan of Hawaiian pizza. I hate the haole idea that putting pineapple on something makes it "Hawaiian." Like throwing Mandarin oranges on lettuce makes it an "Asian" salad. Or tossing corn, tomatoes and beans on something makes it "Mexican."

But for the second and fourth commercials in this set, I'll eat a "Hawaiian" pizza every day for a week. Well, after the 1/2M next month.

Anyway... ENJOY!

Don't hate me, Super Hawaiian Man.

I love you.

P.S. Here's the direct link so you can watch it in "high quality" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wNOldqgBh8.

03.02.08 22:55 Pick Your Poison
Normally, I'd be at this on on March 7 at 10:30PM...

But I'll be dropping $5 at this to support my fam, the Rhythm Natives, even though I have to be somewhere by 7AM the next morning...

I hope you make it to one of them.

01.31.08 00:00 Three
Oh, my little ivory amigo... why do I neglect you so?

11.11.07 03:33 Pressed Between Pages That You'll Read If You're So Inclined
It didn't really feel like a birthday since all my energy was being spent on taking care of the details for the Whale's Vagina.

But having Rex exclaim his excitement over my presence and rush over from across the room - at his own wedding - made me realize it was the right place to be on this particular day.

Apologies, but I have to show my appreciation...
GiGi: the first =p
Kristen
Cousins Jenni, Kristal, Trish and Jevon
Fatty, Spinach, Kuya and Movado
My brethren: Vince and Earl
Puso Pal, fellow Scorp and honorary cousin: Cyn
Lesbian Lady Lovah and his actual lady: G and Bam
Partner in rhime: Mik²
Joe Madre, Karen and Joes
Ja$e
My dog: Jaymee
Buckshot and Rhian
Sherwizzle, Cesar and Jenn
And the main event: Rex and Rina

It was weird enough seeing Fall Out on MTV a couple of years back, then hearing Gym Class heroes on pop radio this year... but Motion City Soundtrack being used in commercials for AMC, as in American Movie Classics, that's beyond strange.

Sorry Brown Bear, I had to. Because it amazes me. Seriously.

10.16.07 23:33 Read Something
It's sad and strange. You get so used to being so far removed from the nonsense, you tend to forget that it still exists.  My heart goes out to you.

One of my biggest pet peeves is the distribution of false information - and the lack of effort for verification.  It's become more prevalent in the so-called digital age.  This or that celebrity hates so-and-so minority.  Myspace is going to start charging.  Magic Mountain is closing.  Blah blah blah.  The latest is cell phone numbers being added to telemarketing lists.

I'm sure that at this point, we've all been through some sort of writing or composition class.  And I'm sure they've all taught you... CHECK YOUR FACTS.

I'm just saying.

Also, if you don't know what to get me... cash for ink will be highly appreciated.  I'm dead serious.

And if you don't feel comfortable forking over cash, Dream Jungle offers gift certs.

10.03.07 19:55 Desperate for Attention

This e-mail was sent, and I have to admit... I agree with it. ; )

08.04.07 20:49 FUCK BARRY BONDS
People who know me well know I am mostly nice. Maybe too nice. Sometimes too forgiving. Perhaps because I'm "nice" I don't use the word "hate" (in reference to other people) lightly. More often I will say I "highly dislike" someone. With hate, for me, there is no going back.

If I say I hate someone, it's with all the bells and whistles. If I hate you and you lose everything you have, I will not give a single flying fuck. Step in front of a moving train, and I'll sleep like a baby. I might just show up at your grave site in order to relieve myself.

Strong words, I know. And that's why I stray away from saying I hate anybody. It takes a lot for it to happen. A LOT.

So imagine my chagrin when I'm sitting at a family party and someone comes in to tell me that an individual I hate has just shown up. I have people scout just to make sure they're not mistaken. But no... they're right. And I'm with other people who don't use the word "hate" either... and they hate that person just as much as I do, if not more.

But... because I'm nice... I left the party. My own family party. Because of a punk bitch who isn't part of my family, and is somehow there. Friend of a friend, whatever. I did the respectful thing, because I love my family, and I left. I didn't even get to say good-bye to everyone. I didn't get to spend time with relatives I see very rarely. I saw my parents for all of ten minutes.

But because I had to leave the people that are important to me, just so you could sit there and not be a cause of major stress and drama... so that a celebration could remain a celebration...

I now hate you more, motherfucker.

06.12.07 00:49 Return of Mega, Part II
Hi, little white journal. Almost forgot about you, my friend.

Go. Laugh. Eat. After.

03.10.07 19:12 Rock the Vote!

VOTE and get my boy (and fellow Anteater) Anthony Dela Cruz into the PBA All-Star game!

01.15.07 19:21 Cripes
Oh, man. I cannot fucking stand it when people chew with their mouths open, or smack their lips whilst eating.

Were you taught to eat by a pack of camels?

And I don't mean cigarettes...

So the lesson of the day:

Eat... with... mouth... closed.

At least when you're with me. 'Cause I am not a dromedary.

02:39 See You When I Get There
One year.

And I'm happy for those few seconds.

Funny thing... Joannie called me today, from that same place. I don't think she realized it.

I'm sure you had a hand in it.

Still hustlin.'

01.10.07 00:59 I Hope You Think That Little Black Dress
How is it, that right when I hit my archive of 040904, Spill Canvas blares from my randomized playlist?

01.04.07 18:26 You Watch
Come out and watch past and future Rhime Skeem cohort, Lauren Santiago and the Rhythm Natives band, at her birthday bash and industry showcase.

It's next Friday, January 12th at:
Air Conditioned Supper Club
625 Lincoln Blvd., Venice, CA

AND IT'S FREE!

And the Friday after that?

Then shake off the weekend cobwebs and come out to Red Square, in Encino, on January 22. Here's a little hint: pr0n st*rs...

12.14.06 03:08 MC Am I
Pink's... I love being back home.

Jo Koy... off the proverbial hinges. Yay for DVD tapings.

If anyone asks...

Amazon.
wwe.com
thinkgeek.com

RSPeace.

11.11.06 04:04 Put Up A Pistol And Whistle A Warning By Calling Your People To War
Thank you: Lei, Kelly, Jean, Earl, Ro, Millicent, Jevon, Derek, Gigi, Gerard, Cyn, Karen, Brian, Annie, Fernie, Missy, Kristal, Mik, Orralyn, Michelle X, Bee, and Danny.

When my people come to colonize this planet, you will be on the protected rolls, and no harm will come to you.

11.01.06 23:23 leo... virgo... SCORPIO

10.22.06 21:38 Thank The Lord For My Headphones
XL: So who are you dating?
bp: No ooonnnnnne.
XL: What?! I know that tone. Who is it?!
bp: Um... no ooonnnnne...
XL: Are you happy?
bp: I'm content.
XL: So you're happy.
bp: I'm content.

Thank you so much to everyone that came out to L.A. for the Rhythm Natives/Lauren Santiago/Simple Citizens show.

And thanks to everyone that rolled down to the Son of Ran/Pauze release party in SD.

Thank you for checking out good music.

Thank you for supporting independent hip hop.

Kava Lounge, 10.21.06 - Son of Ran vinyl release party

DJ Pauze and Brainz

Jaymes, Nicalo and Pauze

URL, Brian O'brien and Sister

Pauze on the beats

Jamal, Josephine and Ces.

Sherwie

With Cesar and Rex

Zen, 10.18.06 - Rhythm Natives/Lauren Santiago, Simple Citizens

Movado, Bejn, URL, Brainz, Kristallion and Jenni

Vincent, The Jan, Bertaxxx and Jean

The Twins

Agent 57, the beautiful Lauren Santiago

URL

With Leslie and Vincent

Ton doing his thing

Poison Ivy and Hurricane Brainz - the original November Reign, featuring alcohol condensation

Siblings

Mik, Kebot, Ton and Bertaxxx - Rhime Skeem is back, bitches

Forever Date

10.14.06 13:56 N₂OC₁₀H₁₂
It will be nice working with proper villains again.
-Don Cheadle as 'Basher,' Ocean's 11

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
-Martin Luther King Jr.

10.10.06 21:39 I Love Amoeba

10.03.06 23:32 Vindication
the rhythms caress my ears, singing sweetly of my tragedy.
flipping through the pages of the words that came so naturally.
canvas left untouched, ink dried up in the barrel.
minutes on the wrist twist by the hand that's been so sterile.
instead of reaching for a quill, it reaches for that box of nicotine.
countering the presence of any hydroxytryptamine.
photographs in my chest indicate the past isn't so far away.
but the hemispheres convince me to surrender the glory days.
the more he plays with the idea to be productive once again,
the more he is reminded of the impotence of the pen.
cursors blink for hours, just waiting to progress.
yet the fingers stand by idly, believing there's nothing left.
i struggle with the demons and the urge that it's too late.
hoping to prevail with the courage to create.
i will not acquiesce to the idea to let it be.
i take that first step - i need the sixteen bars to set me free.
-peanut butter & chocolate, wordperfekt

09.29.06 00:30 reunited. reborn. redefined.

Rhime Skeem Productions has offically been reinstated.

09.21.06 00:43 Hey, How Ya Doin'? Sorry You Can't Get Through
My phone died last week and I lost my numbers. E-mail me your number, or call me.

And go to the Simple Citizens show!

09.20.06 23:23 Derbinks

09.18.06 03:21 Keys To The City
Thank you, Trish.

09.11.06 00:56 The Artist Formerly Known
Dull-eyed, he gazed at the wall of books. He hated the whole lot of them, old and new, highbrow and lowbrow, snooty and chirpy. The mere sight of them brought home to him his own sterility. For here was he, supposedly a "writer," and he couldn't even "write!" It wasn't merely a question of not getting published; it was that he produced nothing, or next to nothing. And all that tripe cluttering the shelves - well, at at any rate it existed; it was an achievement of sorts... But it was the snooty "cultured" kind of books that he hated the worst... The kind of thing that those moneyed young beasts... write almost in their sleep - and that [he] himself might have written if he had had a little more money. Money and culture!

For after all, what is there behind it, except money? Money for the right kind of education, money for influential friends, money for leisure and peace of mind... Money writes books, money sells them...

He jingled the coins in his pocket. He was nearly thirty and had accomplished nothing... [F]or two whole years, he had been struggling in the labyrinth of a dreadful book that never got any further, and which, as he knew in his moments of clarity, never would get any further. It was the lack of money, simply the lack of money, that robbed him of the power to "write." He clung to that as an article of faith...

Could you write even a penny novelette without money to put heart in you? Invention, energy, wit, style, charm - they've all got to be paid for in hard cash.
-from Keep the Aspidistra Flying, George Orwell

09.10.06 02:10 From Day One

Da da da da da...

08.21.06 01:18 Rhymes And Schemes
You should judge a person also by the content of their mp3 player.
-Rex Navarrete

Puff: They were beating the Yanks when we left.
Bill: They'll probably lose. I love the Red Sox, but it sucks sometimes.
bp: I've been a Bengals fan since I was a kid. I feel Boston's pain.
Bill: Ouch, that's harsh. But you know!
Lil Bro: How'd you become a Bengals fan?
bp: I hated the 9ers when I was a kid.
Lil Bro: Fuck you.
bp: At least I'm not a Raiders fan.
Lil Bro/Bill/Rx7: True!
Puff: HEY!

08.04.06 00:59 This Would Be A Fine Death
I'm a few days late, but what the hizzle...

Thanks to everyone that drove up, especially the dribbers.

Muchas grazi, Ces and Friend, for the spiffy new captain's lounge chair.

Mahalo to the cookers and cleaners.

All the newbulas... I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and I'm happy that you'll be there next year.

With that said...

Toonnnyyyyy... Stop iiiit!

07.20.06 20:43 Haven't You People Ever Heard Of Closing A God Damned Door?!
Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "just friends."
We're the kids who feel like dead ends.
And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses;
I took a shot and didn't even come close,
At trust and love and hope.
And the poets are just kids who didn't make it,
And never had it at all.

And the record won't stop skipping.
And the lies just won't stop slipping.
And besides my reputation's on the line.
We can fake it for the airwaves.
Force our smiles, baby.
Half-dead,
From comparing myself to everyone else around me.

Please put the doctor on the phone 'cause I'm not making any sense,
Blaming everyone but me for this mess.
And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart.
We never seemed so far.
I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough,
But we never had it at all.

And the record won't stop skipping.
And the lies just won't stop slipping.
And besides my reputation's on the line.
We can fake it for the airwaves.
Force our smiles, baby.
Half-dead,
From comparing myself to everyone else around me.
-Summer Song, FOB

To death wishes.

07.18.06 18:50 We Could Live Through These Letters Or Forget It Altogether
Depression can rob your loved ones of fully enjoying life or engaging in everyday activities. Instead, they may feel sadness, despair and hopelessness. Not surprisingly, their depression affects you, too, as someone who cares about them, whether it's a family member, friend or even a co-worker facing this serious medical condition.

When a loved one has depression, you can offer support and help in a variety of ways. At the same time, remember to tend to your own physical and emotional needs, too. This way, both of you will be cared for even during the darkest days. Recognize the symptoms of depression, even if a loved one doesn't.

You might think a loved one may have depression even before he or she does. People in the throes of depression sometimes don't recognize the symptoms. Or they may be embarrassed about it or simply think that their situation is hopeless.

Two hallmarks of depression are:

* Loss of interest and pleasure in normal daily activities
* Feelings of sadness, hopelessness or crying spells

Other signs and symptoms include:

* Sleep disturbances
* Impaired thinking or concentration
* Unintentional weight loss or gain
* Agitation or slowing of body movements
* Fatigue
* Low self-esteem
* Less interest in sex
* Thoughts of death

If you suspect that a loved one has such symptoms, gently urging him or her to seek medical help may be the best thing you can do. You can also point out that depression is a medical condition that has several effective treatment options. You may also consider discussing how certain other medical conditions, such as thyroid disease, can mimic the symptoms of depression. This may help further persuade your loved one to seek treatment.

If your loved one refuses to seek medical treatment, remember that it may simply be out of shame or a sense that things can't get better. Try to be patient and bring up the topic again — but without being pushy or insensitive. However, if your loved one's depression is so severe that it's debilitating or life-threatening, you may need to consider intervening by contacting a doctor, hospital or emergency medical services. Don't tell someone with depression to snap out of it.

If you've never experienced depression yourself, then it's impossible to know how helpless and hopeless a person can feel in the midst of it.

Understand that depression is a serious illness that requires medical attention. It isn't the result of a character flaw or moral weakness. It may result from a chemical imbalance in the brain. When someone with depression can't get out of bed, go to work or play with their children, it's not laziness. Rather, it may be a debilitating sense of fatigue, overwhelming feelings of worthlessness or the inability to make even simple decisions.

People with depression can no more snap out of it than can people with diabetes or arthritis. If a loved one has depression, don't tell them to smile more or just get over it. People don't enjoy having depression, but they can't simply will themselves into wellness.

Try reading more about the condition and treatment to better understand what it's like to have depression.

And even if your loved one begins depression treatment, don't expect immediate results. Treatments, such as therapy and medication, take time to have an effect on depression symptoms. In the meantime, encourage your loved one to continue treatment and remind him or her that things will improve as time goes on. Offer support and compassion to a loved one with depression

Even if you can't know what depression feels like, you can offer empathy and compassion. Simply being there for the person can make a difference in the course of his or her illness.

To help someone who has depression, you can:

* Gently express concern. Acknowledge their pain but avoid using the words "I know how you feel" if you really don't. Although you may think you know what's causing the depression, avoid offering solutions. Listen if he or she wants to talk, but try not to ask too many intrusive questions. People with depression often don't have the energy or inclination to discuss their symptoms, and they may instead just stop talking altogether.
* Ask how you can help. Depression may leave your loved one unable to take care of regular chores and tasks. Make yourself as available as possible to help balance the checkbook, keep the home in order, run errands and take care of children or pets, for instance. Keep in mind that your loved one may not be able to offer suggestions. If that's the case, give specific suggestions about what you're willing to do and ask if it's OK if you go ahead and do them, such as mowing the lawn.
* Give positive reinforcement. Depression can make people feel worthless. They may judge themselves harshly and find fault with everything about themselves, from their appearance to their job to their thoughts and feelings. You can remind your loved one about his or her positive qualities and how much he or she means to you and others.
* Encourage healthy behaviors. Depression steals away motivation, energy and interest. Ask your loved one to join you on a walk, for a movie, or to work on a hobby or other activities he or she previously enjoyed. But don't try to force him or her into doing something. If your loved one is in treatment for depression, help him or her remember to take prescribed medications and to attend therapy appointments.

Watch for depression symptoms that worsen.

People with depression are at an increased risk of taking their own life. Stay alert for suicide warning signs such as:

* Agitated behavior and sleeplessness
* Statements about no longer living, such as "You won't have to worry about me much longer."
* Giving away possessions or saying goodbye to friends
* Suddenly cheering up after a period of depression, which could actually signal a renewed sense of energy to follow through on suicide plans

If you think a loved one is considering suicide, encourage him or her to call a doctor, mental health clinic or suicide hot line immediately. If your loved one's life is in imminent danger but he or she refuses to seek help, call for emergency help yourself. Keep depression from taking a toll on you.

Supporting someone with depression isn't easy. You may find yourself stressed and you may even begin to think that things won't improve. It can be even more difficult if you have others to care for as well.

Share your feelings with a caregivers' support group or discuss the situation with a therapist, relative or confidante. See your doctor if you develop any problems that you think require medical attention.

And finally, remind yourself that with appropriate treatment, most people with depression do see an improvement in their symptoms. Better days may be on the horizon — for both of you.

07.13.06 20:50 There's Always Another Wound To Discover
anitap is love

07.02.06 22:43 Regardless, My Pictures... They Don't Line Your Mirror
That line would have had me years ago:
(ring)
Me: Hello?
Kimberley: HI!
Me: What's up?
Kimberley: Just wanted to see if you were thinking of me.
Me: 14 years ago, Kim. 14 years ago...

Man, I have about 6 hours to get some sleep before I fly out to Orange County. It's been a while since I've made that trip.

Have a good This Country Was Founded By Immigrants Who Exterminated The Native Inhabitants Day!

06.25.06 05:18 Yakkety Yak, Don't Talk Back
On behalf of Tara's friends, thank you to those of you that made it out tonight. I'm sure her family appreciated it. It meant a lot to all of us.

Thanks to the drivingers.

Thanks to everyone that made it out to good ol' classic Tampa Denny's?

And very merch thanks to Ube for keeping me from passing out on the porcelain. You witnessed history.

Ahh... home turf.

06.24.06 18:23 Assumed You'd Always Be There
How fitting that certain individuals keep demonstrating the exact reason I stopped trying...

06.19.06 22:15 Original Hustla
Go to the Pig N Whistle in Hollywood this Saturday.

Be sure to tell them you're there for the Tara Thaichareon fundraiser.

You'd be helping out friends and family, and you get to get your drink on.

06.17.06 04:36 Can't Knock The Hustle
I try to live my life without regret. I can hear the scoffs... But I'm serious. I don't do regrets. I admit I dwell, but in the effort to analyze the details and make things different the next time around.

Wish I'd done that this time.

I was lucky enough to run into you a few months ago. In a random place. Hundreds of miles from home.

And it was so good to have a piece of home so far from it.

I keep hoping that all this is... is one last hustle.

But I know I'll wake up tomorrow and realize it's not.

I just wanted you to know, that for half my life... you've always played a part in it. Somehow.

I know you'll hustle their socks off, baby.

Just like it's always been.

Just like it should always be.

06.14.06 19:07 I'm Still Free
Do some good with your life.

And help somebody else's.

Thank you.

06.13.06 21:14 You Can't Take The Sky From Me
Anyway, why is it that people tend to get the urge to meddle? I'm sure we've all felt it at one point or another. You see something going on, you want to throw in your two cents, or maybe even influence what's happening. And perhaps it's not even as intrusive as getting involved, sometimes you just want to talk about stuff. Kind of like that time in Friends when Joey found out about Monica and Chandler. He was dying to talk about it to other people. The thing is why? Does it really matter? I mean yes, it may involve friends or people you know but it most likely doesn't directly involve you.

I think the best you could do or actually the most you should do is advise and then step back. The way I see it, it's like a machine. The more moving parts there are, the more possibility there is for something to go wrong. The more people involved, the more complicated it gets. And we all wonder how drama seeps into our lives.

Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of the time we have noble intentions. We see something involving a friend and we want to say something or do something because we feel they may be getting into a situation that could possibly hurt them. But, like I said, the most you should do is advise. After that, let the cards fall where they may. Experience is the best teacher.

tcc060328

Now...

I told y'all to buy this:

Then I told y'all to get this:

Now it's time to buy this:

And you can listen to the my old partner's and my cousin's CD's (not Pauze's vinyl unless you got technics in your ride) on the way to this:

06.06.06 00:38 I Kind Of Always Knew You'd End Up My Ex-Girlfriend
I'm tired of being what you want me to be;
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.
Don't know what you're expecting of me,
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes.
Caught in the undertow.
Just caught in the undertow.
Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
Caught in the undertow.
Just caught in the undertow.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there.
I've become so tired, so much more aware.
I'm becoming this - all I want to do,
Is be more like me and be less like you.

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control.
'Cause everything that you thought I would be,
Has fallen apart right in front of you.
Caught in the undertow.
Just caught in the undertow.
Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
Caught in the undertow.
Just caught in the undertow.
And every second I waste is more than I can take.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there.
I've become so tired, so much more aware.
I'm becoming this - all I want to do,
Is be more like me and be less like you.

And I know,
I may end up failing, too.
But I know,
You were just like me,
With someone disappointed in you...
-Numb, LP

05.30.06 02:58 Lie In The Grass, Next To The Mausoleum
Much mahalo to Pasties for waking up early and didding my hair.

Grazi to the newlyweds for letting us be there for your special day.

Thanks very merch to Ms. Jamboree for the company.

B: I had this direct line of sight from my chair, to the floor, to you. Was it just me during that routine...
V: Were you having flashbacks, too?
B: Man, I could hear the 2RK/DOS chants in my head.
V: Haha, yeah! It's so good to see you again...

05.18.06 22:27 I Will Always Be A Close Third
At this exact moment, I'm quite bored. Well, not that bored. Claude is chatting with me on AIM. That's always nice. But today was such a struggle. I blame it on another fun, busy weekend. Mother's Day, babysitting Justin, very little sleep and some good talks. And a mean trick I pulled. I guess my roommate is right. I am immature. It's been awhile since I've had a "leave me the fuck alone" weekend or day. Which means I might be due for one soon.

So I'm just kind of writing to kill time. This entry will probably have no point. And I hate writing pointless entries. Like some can seem pointless, but they'll have a personal point to me. Not really like it's cryptic, but they'll have enough hints for me to remember why I wrote it. Like "Hmm... Why did I write 'This was a great day. It was sunny.' Oh... because this was the day that I pondered about the meaning of life." As I'm telling Claude, I don't like writing where it seems like "I did this, I did that, it was fun". It's just if I wanted to refresh my memory from the weekend, I can read people's blogs which can describe it better than I can. Claude says they're cool 'cause you get to read about other people's viewpoints about the weekend. So I guess I don't care about my viewpoint. Unless the evening gave way to some profround thought that night. Like some stupid new theory I could arrive at about life. But stupid is as stupid does.

Still bored. Still writing. Which makes me wonder how bored you are if you're still reading this.

One of the things I repeat to myself is "I'd rather succeed in private than fail in public." Like if my business is too well known, my failures feel magnified. But keeping it known to a select few makes failure more tolerable. So I keep things to myself. Keep a few things on the downlow and I function alright. I don't know what this means. It makes me think that I fear failure as I evaulate this saying in terms of how it may or may not amplify my failure. But this also relates to success. I could be a glory hog and have everyone be fully aware of my successes. Or I could just keep my successes known on a smaller scale. This then becomes more of a humility issue. In that respect, this saying stresses my need to be humble. Keep it simple. Keep it quiet.

My sister tells me I need to be more selfish. But I think I'm too selfish. I base this on how frustrated I can get with life sometimes. I want more out of it, but i wonder "Am I really deserving of it?" All I can I do is try to be "normal." Keep trying to move up in this world. Make more money. Get the job with the better sounding title. But would it make me any happier? Is this really "normal?" I don't know. But really... what do I know?

I started this entry around 8. It's almost 10:30. I've just been rambling really. Don't take anything I've written seriously. I know I haven't. I'm just tired, I guess.

20606JLE.

05.12.06 00:46 me and miss lemona k
Buy good music:

Simple Citizens.

Featuring Anton AKA Rubberboy, formerly of Rhime Skeem Productions.

05.04.06 20:51 Spring Back, Fall Forward
I give up.

04.29.06 01:36 So Good At Setting Bad Examples

I thought it was funny.

04.26.06 19:41 Bleed A Little Smile
Being sick sucks. Especially a sick that I'm not familiar with.

I did hear a voice I haven't heard in a long time.

It made me feel a lot better.

04.23.06 00:45 Everything I Know About Breaking Hearts, I Learned From You
I hung out with someone recently. Someone I thought knew me well. Understood me.

I suppose it's appropriate that "knew" and "understood" are in the past tense.

You think you know, but you have no idea.

So keep your criticism to yourself.

Don't let the judgment leave your lips.

Stop trivializing the challenges I face.

Skip the assumptions.

And don't ever fucking insult me again.

Of all people, you are the last person that should be telling me how to treat the people in my life.

Oh, don't worry. I still keep the knife you left in my back.

I forgive more than I should. But everyone knows I damn well never forget.

Unless you're getting it directly from me, you're not getting the entire story.

Something you haven't learned, and yet you've made up your mind about me.

Try again.

04.22.06 15:40 You Never Knew; Well, I Never Told You
Cousin re-dubbed the Mad Scientists... The Fellowship of the Rig.

Nerd.

I love it.

Funny how things cycle...

Note to self: Your weaknesses are Classical Music/Opera, U.S. Presidents, and (sadly) Shakespeare.

04.21.06 23:43 Best Friends Means, Best Friends Means...
So, ladies, I ain't just talkin' 'bout you,
'Cause some of y'all niggas is bitches, too.
-Bitches, Ice T

04.19.06 22:13 I Started Something I Couldn't Finish
some wounds never heal.
some scars never fade.
some memories never die.
some lives never happen.
some futures never materialize.
some endings never begin.
some words never drift.
some things never change.

04.14.06 21:21 All I Need To Know Is That I'm Something You'll Be Missin'
Holy fucking hell. I played like shit today.

A half dozen reasons.

Absolutely no excuses.

04.14.06 00:21 God Willing, I'll Be Back Home
BUY THIS RECORD HERE.

What are you waiting for? Buy it!

04.09.06 02:11 If It's Not Too Late For Coffee
Mahalo plenty to da 3 Mad Scientists fo' put togetha Frankenrig - 'specially Cousin.

03.14.06 Guess Who Got The Rubber Gloves And The Bleach
I told you before, put a lock on your lips.
You insist on running your mouth and talking your shit.
I let it slide for a while, but you just couldn’t quit.
Now I gotta call you out, let ‘em all know you’re a bitch.
And I’ve got two options: the mic or the clip.
Your repeated mouth about me will cost you more than your kicks.
I can’t tell who’s more pussy – you or your trick.
Does she know you cheated on her with your last chick?
Did I let that slip? That’s barely scratchin’ the surface.
I don’t know if it’s worth it, ‘cause you’re simply worthless.
I was bred on streets, you grew up right by the beach.
You bull’s nuts boy, what you know about beef?
Take advice from Stefani, homie – just don’t speak.
I’ll have to treat you like e-mail, and hit delete.
I wanted to keep it cool; I really tried.
But now I gotta watch you wash away with the tide.
I’m a natural selection – this is survival of the fittest.
Try me motherfucker, watch me drop you like a Civic.


I ain’t finished,
I’ll let you know when I’m done.
Askin’ for favors after flappin’ your gums.
You riff with me? That’s not how the plan goes.
I’ll take a bat to your back and break both your ankles.
As long as you make it a habit to assume,
And if you continue to pop off like a balloon,
Then I’ma keep planning to maneuver your doom.
You’re so full of shit I’m getting dizzy off the fumes.
You talk big, but you’re nothing but hype.
I know for a fact you ain’t ever fought in your life.
So think twice before you yap your trash again.
Think thrice before you talk about me to my own friends.
Fucking idiot, you just sealed your own fate.
I’ma do this like Texas: leave you in a lone star state.
You earned my hate; no mercy, no pity.
You blow so hard, change your name to Windy City.
My mic’s my .38 – you’re gone in three pitches.
You’re lucky I’m a gentleman, ‘cause I don’t hit bitches.
You want to get me back for the new hole that I just tore you?
Knowing you, you’ll ask someone else to do it for you.
-Vendetta, Pt. I: The Prelude, wordperfekt

03.12.06 21:48 What's This Odd Game That's All Over The Airwaves?
My Carson cousin said he'd leave in 8 minutes. He fell asleep 7 minutes later. That was 26 minutes ago.

01:37 The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage
All you had to do was ask.

So that's out of the question.

Rhian, you're welcome. But it was my pleasure.

As long as you know of its importance.

03.11.06 13:06 Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These
Too much is on your mind right now, dear Scorpio, and therefore you could well have trouble sleeping. When you do manage to drop off, you could find yourself experiencing bizarre dreams.

No shit.

03.07.06 21:04 Reckless, Abandoned
Some people die at 25, and aren't buried until 75.
-Benjamin Franklin

Well, there go my Friday nights.

Raja... thanks for letting me celebrate your birthday with you before anyone else.

03.05.06 13:57 I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today
According to a quiz I just took, I will die in August 2046 at the age of 68 - four years earlier than the average man.

2046 was a great movie, so that's kind of cool.

Most likely ways for me to die:
56% - heart attack
24% - car accident
13% - loneliness
5% - drowning of the lungs
2% - wound

About what I expected. One of my phobias is on there; the other 4 are ways I've always said I'd probably die. Not too shabby.

Have I ever told you how much I FUCKING HATE FLAKING? Well, I do.

03.02.06 22:01 Knocking On Heaven's Door
In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis in which those who have to think or suffer darkly take refuge.
-Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

I can't remember the last time I was able to get a decent amount of sleep.

I've been considering becoming friends with Sominex.

I woke up this morning, and the first thing I saw on the news was a report about insomnia and sleeping pills.

How fitting.